The Style Invitational Week 890: Double-teaming

By The Empress

Saturday, October 16, 2010; C02

Atlanta Falcons + Cincinnati Bengals = Fal Gals, a women's team with such potty mouths that the networks can't use mikes on the sidelines.

Here's a suggestion from erstwhile Loser Jon Reiser: Combine the names of any two pro sports teams -- even from different sports -- and describe the result.

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place wins a collectible (or would be if it didn't have a little crack in the horn) cow standing in a gondola and wearing a gondolier costume, except in the daringly naked udder area. Gondi, let's call her, weighs several pounds and balances on a gondola well over a foot long. Donated by Cheryl Davis.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Oct. 25. Put "Week 890" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results to be published Nov. 13. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by Dave Prevar; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Kevin Dopart.

Report from Week 886, in which we asked you to coin and define a word or term that was a palindrome. Among those too frequently submitted were STINKKNITS (smelly sweaters), BUTTUB (bidet), NERDREN (dorks' offspring) and LAPPAL (friend with benefits).

The winner of the Inker

AHA HAHA: When you finally get the joke. (Tom Flaherty, Culpeper, Va., a First Offender)

2. winner of the weird pink fluffy elephant marionette:

EGADAGE: "Heck," "darn," etc. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn)

3. NAMETAG-GATEMAN: The conference organizer who won't let you enter until you've ruined your jacket with adhesive paper. (Dion Black, Washington)

4. AMENEMA: Blessed relief. (Anne Morgan, Fairfax, a First Offender)

FUN ENUF: HONORABLE MENTIONS

DROWSYSWORD: Impotence. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

G.I. GAGA GIG: A flamboyant concert to support the overturning of "don't ask, don't tell." (Nan Reiner, Alexandria)

LOOPOOL: Toddlers' swimming area. (Jeff Contompasis)

BOOBOOBOOB: Implant fail. (Ann Martin, Bracknell, England; Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney)

A PAPAYA PAPA: The leader of a banana republic. (Rick Morgan, Washington, a First Offender)

RABBI RIB BAR: An all-beef barbecue joint. (Rick Morgan)

PANTNAP: When your butt falls asleep. (Dave Komornik, Danville, Va.)

HARA-SARAH: Political suicide by failure to vet one's running mate. (Frank Mullen III, Aledo, Ill.)

HARASSARAH: Ask a substantive question. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

GARBAGE GAB RAG: A supermarket tabloid. (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)

LOO FOOL: A woman who waits in an interminable line while the men's room remains vacant. (Nan Reiner)

LEER REEL: The item on the hotel bill that you hope your wife doesn't see. (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)

GNAT TANG: Bug juice made from actual bugs. (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)

NOTTON: Polyester. (May Jampathom, Oakhurst, N.J.)

LOOFA, A FOOL: Two things in Bill O'Reilly's shower in 2004 (Ira Allen, Bethesda)

CALFLAC: Livestock insurance. (Mike Duffy, Washington; Ann Martin)

TOYOTATOYOT : Something that's hard to stop once it gets going. (Ann Martin)

FREE BEERF: How it sounds after four or five of them. (Craig Dykstra)

T. ELIOT'S TOILET: Where "The Waste Land" was written. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

YARD POOP DRAY: What you need to clean up after your two St. Bernards. (Mae Scanlan, Washington)

ABU TUBA: Iraqi prison whose inmates are subjected to the cruelest torture. (Frank Mullen III)

TARP-RAT: You think bedbugs in hotel rooms are bad? Wait till you go camping and see these guys. (Melissa Yorks, Gaithersberg)

DECAF-FACED: Sleepy-looking. (Craig Dykstra)

TESTES ROCK-CORSET SET: A jockstrap and cup. (Chris Doyle)

STATTATS: One way for conceited athletes to show off their career numbers. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

POPEPOP: High-fructose Communion beverage designed to bring kids back to Mass. (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.)

AMORAL-AROMA: The smell of political success. (Kevin Dopart)

NOT-A-TON: The small size at the Plus-Plus-Plus Dress Store. (Kevin Dopart)

KAZOOZAK: The worst elevator music ever. (Chris Doyle)

PARTTRAP: A zipper accident. (Larry Yungk, Arlington)

XEREX: A date who's exactly like the jerk you just dumped. (Dion Black)

BURNINRUB: The name Dr. Bengué rejected for his famous balm. (Lois Douthitt, Arlington)

PREPERP: Someone to keep a wary eye on. (Jim Reagan, Herndon)

RELIVE EVILER: To make poor use of one's reincarnation. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase)

RACECARRACECAR: Photo finish at the Indy 500. (Christopher Lamora)

SNACKCANS: What couch potatoes develop. (Edmund Conti, Raleigh, N.C.)

TILE LIT: Bathroom reading. (Christopher Lamora)

REVEL LEVER: A guy's joystick. (Jeff Contompasis; Craig Dykstra)

KNOB BONK: A common injury among eavesdroppers. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf)

PAAP: Stuff your dad says. (Tom Witte)

And last: LE CRAP PARCEL: What the Inker winner from Montreal got from the Empress. (Kevin Dopart)

Next week: Plus Fours, or Gimmericks